Assholes Lie. Fact.

A little something I've learned: Saying you work for Vice Magazine will always get you laid. Always.

Two years ago. Capitol Hill. For you foreigners, that is the part of Seattle where all the wierd people are- gays, people with a lot of holes in their face, etc. I'm out with another crew of law students at the cha cha. they were fish out of water. We come up on these two wannabee Williamsburg Hipsters- seriously, belts and leg warmers and all that bullshit. On a whim I say "You girls are definitly DO's..." (couldnt be further from the truth) "huh?" they reply. and then out it came..."have you heard of Vice?" "hehe, yeah". Well im a photographer for Vice, and we're doing a Seattle Issue. Im taking pictures of Do's and Dont's. "ohhhh", and it was all over. It took some convincing, but my faithfull wing men were happy to corroborate. I may or may not have taken an actual picture of one of them. cant remember. Went home with the slighly less cute one. she was too drunk to be decent in the sack, but whatever. It's the thrill of the hunt.

Since then I've pulled the stunt a couple of times, and it usually works. The problem is it only works with stupid ass insecure hipsters. My least favorite genre in the female gender.